Getting a raise vs. having a kid

I got dinner with my old boss last night.

He recently got promoted to VP in his company. He’s also the recent father of two.

When I asked him about the new VP position, he calmly said, “Yeah man. It’s cool.”

When I asked him about his partner and kids, he lit up. He raised his volume. He smiled as he spoke. He talked with his hands. “I love it,” he said. “It’s my favorite job I didn’t know I wanted.”

I pointed out how much more excited he seemed about his role as a dad than his role as a VP. He told me that one influenced the other.

When he detached himself from wanting a promotion and focused his love and attention on his family and wellbeing…he got the promotion.

We so often chase something only to see it evade us. Like magnets repelling from one another.

Fulfillment. Friendship. Opportunites.

These come readily to us when we just stay present, provide as much value as we can to those we care about, and continue to do the things we want to do.

We work on ourselves. We sharpen our axes.

We get what we want when we don’t care about getting what we want.