I had an incredible phone conversation with one of my best friends yesterday.
They’re usually great, but this one really hit all the nails: a ton of laughter, business updates, and vulnerability.
One of the silver linings of the pandemic has been the multiplication of how much I value my friendships. I find it vital to go out of our way to visit and maintain communication with the people we share our lives with.
We all have those friends with whom we can go a year without talking to and then just pick right back up where we left off. That’s lovely…but if it’s a close friend, I see that as an utter waste.
Let me explain.
I’m 27. I started my own business this year, am single, and have no kids. I’ve never been more career-focused than I am right now.
All this to say I’m hyper-aware that we’re all living our own lives. We’re stressed. Many of us are still figuring out who we are and what we want. Some of us have families. It’s not like high school where we can spend every weeknight and weekend having fun with our buddies.
However, since that’s the case, there’s never been a better time than right now to sustain healthy and fulfilling friendships.
• one of my best friends ghost me out of his life with no explanation to this day
• friends get arrested
• friends have quarter-life crises
It’s when we’re the most anxious, the busiest, and most overwhelmed that we need our friends the most.
If we let a year go by without any communication…yes, maybe we can pick right back up. That’s fine. But how many total hours of laughter, connection, and memories did we miss out on?
I love knowing what my friends are working on, are afraid of, and are thinking about on a consistent basis. I’m not saying I need to talk to them every single week, but more than twice a year is preferable.
We can start small. That friend we see once a year…we can bump that up to twice a year. We can set up a monthly call with our busy friends with kids.
It feels like work. Because it fucking is.
Let’s assume the major facets of life are health, wealth, and relationships (broadly speaking). I’ve noticed we put a ton of effort into working on our physical health, our mental health, and our careers, but we sort of expect our relationships to just take care of themselves.
When really they’re just like anything else important to us. They require effort, practice, and collaboration to figure out what works and what doesn’t.
When I’m an old ass man, I want to look back and think I’m glad I did…as opposed to I wish I had…
Right now, I’m so glad I had that phone call with my buddy. And I’m looking forward to visiting him in two weekends.