Slowing things down

A party of friends giving a cheers with their champagne glasses

As 2021 comes to a close, I’ve been intentionally taking my foot off the gas.

Scheduling fewer calls, not doing any outreach for the business, and having more days where nothing is scheduled.

It’s been tough, to say the least.

It has exposed the fact that I’m a workaholic. I don’t work 12-hour days or anything like that…but I like to feel productive on a daily basis.

But now that I’ve been learning how to slow down, I’m terrified.

Terrified that I’ll want things to stay like this. The fear is that I’ll never step on the gas again.

We hosted a Christmas party on Friday and it was amazing. All my local friends, pizza and sweets, hilarious games, everybody gone by midnight, no cleanup…perfection.

I figured I’d be hungover on Saturday so I did something I haven’t done in months.

I didn’t schedule anything.

Usually, this gives me anxiety. I never know if I’m doing the “right” thing. Or what to do at all.

But that morning (and afternoon), I laid on my couch with a smile as I watched YouTube videos and played chess. Nothing to do. Nowhere to be.

It wasn’t so scary after all.

But my possibly irrational fear is that I’ll want every day to be like this. This feels funny to type out because I’m sitting at my desk on a Monday morning preparing to write my book for three hours and then go to the gym.

I don’t want to do it all the time, but I like working my ass off. Not because it gives me a sense of self-worth but because I find it fun.

So the question moving forward, after the holidays, becomes:

How can I harmonize working hard and slowing down?

As I figure this out, I’ll let you know.