I’ve never been able to go up to an attractive woman and just start flirting with her. I used to think there was something wrong with me—that I was weak or a coward.
But that’s 95% of dudes.
For many years, I thought having “game” was just one thing: being able to court someone and get them interested in spending time with me.
But that’s wrong. I think having game (a term I hate) is more universal.
Here’s how I define it now: building a connection with another person, making them feel interesting, and looking forward to the next conversation.
The cool thing is, we can do this with anyone, not just a potential romantic partner. All it takes is vulnerability, genuine values, and curiosity. Meta skills like storytelling, humor, and adventure are helpful as well.
My point is: I don’t think I’ll ever be the guy who walks up to a group of women at the bar for no other reason than to hit on them. That’s where I’m uncomfortable.
But when there’s a reason for communicating, that’s where I thrive. Example: My buddy and I spent hours talking to and hanging with this group of women in NYC.
How did we start talking to these ladies? Bowling.
They were in the lane next to us. So it only made sense that we joked and laughed with them as we watched each other throw gutter balls. We had a reason to start building that connection.
So, yes. While I find it terrifying to randomly go up and start flirting with a woman, if there’s a reason for it, I’m confident in my ability to get the ball rolling.
I’ve never written about my dating life in this blog. If you don’t hate it, let me know and I’ll keep spilling the tea. ❤️