(Yes, ladies. Even you.)
I want to alienate more people. Let me explain.
The goal is not to go out of my way to piss people off. I don’t want to do or say anything controversial just for the sake of being controversial.
But I noticed recently that most (if not all) of my writing has been curated for anyone and everyone. I’ve been painting with a broad brush in the hopes that any kind of person could sit down and enjoy my stories and lessons.
The consequence of that has been me avoiding certain topics I thought would be lost on most of my readers: the ins and outs of my business, hot takes, possibly-arrogant stories…
Then everything changed when the fire nation attacked.
Whoops. I mean, everything changed when I grew a mustache. Here’s what I mean.
I shaved my beard and left my mustache about a month ago. Since then, I’ve gone to a wedding, a bachelor party, and have gone out drinking.
The thing I noticed immediately? Mustaches are polarizing.
Some people (women) wanted nothing to do with it. Others went out of their way to say how attractive they thought it was.
Prior to that, no woman had ever mentioned to me in casual conversation how sexy she thought my face was. I realized that was because I was trying to have a face anyone could get down with.
I went from attempting to reach everyone to only spending time and energy with mustachers. They were bought in. They were my people.
Then I thought about other areas I could apply this.
When we polarize people, some folks naturally get alienated. Some hate mustaches. Some don’t care about business tactics.
But for the ones who stick around…the connection with them is 10 times stronger. It’s not about trying to get people to buy in; it’s about investing in the ones who are already bought in.
Lower quantity. Higher quality.
So what does this mean for us?
I’m guessing half of my readership cannot actually grow a mustache (ladies…and some dudes [sorry, gents]). But we can think about this as we create things and as we connect with others.
Do you hold any opinions you’d be uncomfortable sharing with the people around you? If not, that’s a problem. It could be a sign that you just go along with what everyone else thinks and that you have few values of your own.
When creating something, are you trying to make it so everyone can enjoy it (like I did)? When we build something for everyone, we build something for no one. Find your people.
In my coaching business, I have high standards for the people I work with. I want committed action-takers who show up on time and do what they say they want to do. That’s not most people.
And that’s the point. Most people shouldn’t work with me.
It’s not about the ones left behind. It’s about finding our people and giving them the world.
Grow a mustache.