How to win no matter what

I like to set up systems where no matter what, I win.

In my coaching system, for example, my goal is to have as many fun and fruitful conversations as possible. It has nothing to do with closing a certain amount of clients or making a specific amount of money. Ironically, that stuff often happens naturally when I just focus on bringing a ton of value to the conversations I’m having.

I reach out to a ton of people, and most don’t reply, which is totally normal and okay. But when someone does reply, even if they’re not interested in any sort of coaching experience, I get to catch up with someone from my past or meet someone new.

Even if they don’t turn into a paying client, I still win. I win when I have a conversation and enjoy it.

How can you turn a loss into a win? By changing the definition of winning.

I love chess and Brazilian Jiujitsu. In both, the only way to improve is to play (and lose) a lot. Having a competitive nature is healthy, but if you get pissed every time you get checkmated or tapped out, you’ll never become a grandmaster or a black belt.

The subtext here is that every time you make a mistake or suffer a loss, it opens the door for you to find lessons and make improvements.

I watched a YouTube video about how to defend an ankle lock in jiujitsu. Then, last year, a guy got me in an ankle lock, didn’t really know what he was doing, and yanked on my foot. I popped several tendons and was out for a month.

While that video was great, the experience will stay with me forever. I haven’t been caught in an ankle lock since. I’ve prioritized the defense so I never have to go through that again.

You can read the best book or watch the best video on what you want to improve…and you should!

But learning on the job is the only real way for you to track where you are on your journey.

Dive in. Make mistakes. Learn. Repeat.