1) “What’s a question you wish someone would ask you?”
With all the time I spend being curious about other people, it’s so refreshing to have anyone ask me questions about myself and what I’m working on.
I run a life coaching business where I spend hours going deep into the minds and lives of others. I’m writing a book where I pry at people’s habits and insights. And I love it. I find people—specifically people who are doing things—fascinating.
But it can burn me out if I go a long time without anyone returning the favor. It’s a basic human need to feel important and seen.
So did I start this Q&A to fill a void? You be the judge.
My favorite question to ask and be asked is: What’s on your heart and mind right now?
It’s so broad and yet pointed and specific at the same time. It’s practical, emotional, and allows the answerer to be vulnerable immediately if they so choose.
So what’s on my heart and mind right now?
- launching my new YouTube channel/podcast next week
- sending my book proposal to Stripe Press today
- the fact that I interviewed Courtland Allen, one of my favorite creators, yesterday
- being pissed that I ordered a new car for delivery and it’s been delayed twice
- getting in excellent shape and burning away my love handles
2) “How did you get into rock climbing and what level climbs do you do? #v1gang”
This made me lol.
Two of my besties took me climbing earlier this year and I didn’t love it immediately. I found it quite challenging, which pissed me off because they made it look so easy. So I kept coming back out of competition and ego.
As I improved and could enjoy it more, I thought it would actually be a great way to irradicate my phobia of heights. So I tried rope climbing.
This was a huge milestone for me. Climbing up that wall and being attached to a rope connected to my friend at the bottom was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. My head was flooded with images of me falling and breaking my limbs.
But I made it to the top.
Coming back down, out of breath and coated in sweat…I felt triumphant.
When I lived in NYC for two weeks, I was an eight-minute walk from a gorgeous climbing gym. I went nearly every day, which would prove to be awful for my muscles and ligaments.
Although I got injured after those 14 days, I got way better at bouldering (shorter climbs without a rope). It was there that I did my first and only V4. So I would say V3s are my sweet spot between challenging and doable.
3) “What are some non-technical/intangible areas you’re thinking about and/or working on these days (e.g. attitudes or skills such as patience, listening, being more present)?”
The biggest thing I’ve tried to actively practice and improve this year has been empowering and praising people.
When someone impresses me. When they are clearly working hard at something. If they’re putting effort into things that matter to them.
I tell them.
It can be as simple as saying, “Hey, I want to acknowledge you for x, y, or z.”
Sometimes they just say thank you. Other times it makes their entire week. And on rare occasions, they tell me it’s exactly what they needed to hear. We never know where a person is at mentally.
A few months ago, at the end of a session, one of my clients took two minutes to do that to me.
“I just wanted to say,” she started. “That I know we’re here to focus on me and my dreams. But I’m so proud of you for pursuing yours. Building a business where you can help people and make money doing it. Creating stuff and only doing what you want to do without working for anyone else. It’s inspiring.”
My eyes teared up. No one had said anything like that to me before. And the last person I would expect that from was one of my coaching clients. I’ll never forget it.
We have the power to do that at scale for those around us. It could change their world.
4) “What are some of your favorite books and why?”
Here are five I love in no particular order. Follow me on GoodReads!
- Essentialism by Greg Mckeown: got me to focus on what’s most important and ignore the rest.
- The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune: the most delightful story I’ve ever enjoyed.
- Anything You Want by Derek Sivers: one of the reasons I started my own business.
- The Madness of Crowds by Douglas Murray: changed my perspective on some of today’s most radioactive topics.
- Becoming by Michelle Obama: a truly vulnerable and inspirational memoir I couldn’t put down.
Thanks for all your questions! To keep this short, I didn’t get to all of them. Please keep sending me stuff you’d like me to dive into more.