I tried to kill myself in 2017.
That summer was a crescendo of 23 years of me having no defined values, no direction, and no true skills.
I would talk and think endlessly of all the things that could be…while at the same time ignoring my way through life. I wasn’t getting any actual work done.
After a handful of pills and a fifth of Jim Beam, I woke up two days later with both staggering fog and utter clarity. “This has to change,” I mumbled.
But what I quickly came to realize was that that desire was backward. I had been waiting my whole life for this to change. And waiting around hadn’t gotten me far. So I turned to what is now my favorite cliche…
If we want something to change, we have to change.
It’s so stupidly simple. But what I’ve seen in a lot of folks—including myself—is a longing for transformation while living with the same habits, routines, and thought patterns as the month before.
The change starts with us. There’s nothing out there that’s going to make it happen for us.