Reaching People

“If you try to reach everybody, you will reach nobody.”

No matter how good your intentions are, you cannot resonate with everyone…especially if you have a platform, speak a lot, and write a lot. I have written and said things which have fired people up and they have vehemently disagreed with. This is an occupational hazard when you have a lot to say. You may be dead wrong and later regret the things you’ve spouted, and that’s okay. You need to be allowed to make mistakes, so long as you are sticking to your principles and values, and coming from a place of love and respect.

Letting your ideas out and having conversation is the only way to course-correct. It’s how we learn.

Nice Guys Finish Last?

The popular saying refers to the ability to get what you want if you are assertive, pushy, or non-agreeable. I think it’s bullshit. If you want a lasting respect and to get what you desire, the only scalable and sustainable method is by being a kind, respectful, helpful person.

If you are kind to me, I don’t feel the need to walk all over you…I want to get you what you need. As a server in a restaurant, when you have a table who says “please” and “thank you,” and they smile when you are with them, and they are patient, if the server is a good one, they’ll go above and beyond to make sure that table has a phenomenal time.

People who are rude and brash may end up getting what they want, but at the cost of the respect and warmth from whomever is giving it to them. Fear is temporary. Respect and loyalty lasts.

A Letter to a Hero

Wordsmith prompt #2: Write a letter to someone who has impacted your life.

Dear Joe Rogan,

Sometimes I get flack for being just another dude who talks about your podcast but I’m an enormous fan and you’ve changed my life. Roughly two years ago, I got kicked out of school and the woman I was prepared to marry left me. This was the darkest time of my life and I considered ending things. I had no job, didn’t exercise, didn’t eat well, had ideas and aspirations but wasn’t taking action on any of them, and simply had no direction, values, or principles.

Two things got me out of this mental prison: the practice of meditation, and listening to you rant about discipline and happiness. Both of these kicked my ass into gear by forcing me to realize that any outside forces which were blocking me were actually just in my own head. The world wasn’t out to get me…Shit just happens and you are either mentally and physically prepared for the storm when it comes, or you’re not. You taught me how to prepare for and conquer the storm.

It doesn’t work for everybody, but a lot of people (especially men) just need a jacked, bald, tatted comedian to shake them by the shoulders and say “Get your fucking shit together!” By following your basic formulas for developing meaning and satisfaction in life, mine turned from a pit of nothingness to being excited to live each and every day. The formulas include:

-Find something you love to do, do it all the time, get better at it.
-Write down the things you want in your life.
-Be a great person, even to the people who don’t deserve it.
-Have conversations with people, it’s okay if you’re not a genius who knows everything about everything.
-Realize that if other humans are doing it, you can do it too.
-When you’re feeling stressed, remember that you’re just one of 7 billion monkeys on a giant floating rock in space.

You’re an incredibly humble man, who has dedicated his life to solely doing what you want—bow-hunting, MMA commentating, podcasting, traveling, loving your family. You’ve worked your ass off and continue to work your ass off so that you may live the life you want to live. Thank you for showing me that all this was possible. Life will take the wheel if you allow it. I am working each day to ensure that life takes the back seat, so I can throw on my shades, turn up the music (or your podcast), and drive myself down the road I choose.

Thanks again brother,


Tell me about a person who has impacted your life.

Check out BestSelf’s array of productivity tools to get you taking action, writing clearly, and trying new things!

Your Eulogy

To piggy-back off of my latest podcast (#15 – Expressing Gratitude) and yesterday’s blog on death:

An incredibly eye-opening and inspiring exercise is writing your own eulogy. If you were to die today, how would you want to be remembered? What kind of person do your friends, family, and the world see you as? What impact or mark would you like to have left on the planet? Whatever that answer is, you should be working night and day to get as close to that result as you can.

Here’s mine:

”Whilst Dillan had many flaws—douchiness, selfishness at times, stubbornness—he was a good person. He dedicated his life to aiding and inspiring people to be the best versions of themselves, though he was not always successful. By taking care of his mind and body, he inspired others to do the same. He showed others that it was possible to set goals, take steps to accomplish those goals, and fulfill them. He made people laugh. He made people think. He asked for many favors, but was always willing to help someone in need. He was firm, but he was loving. He was open, but he was secure. He was confident, but was aware of his flaws. He tried new things, but worshiped routine and discipline…

Because of his existence, the world is a better place than it was before.”

This can be quite personal, but if you’re willing to share, I’d love to hear your eulogy.


BestSelf is a neat little company which sells decks of cards to get you moving and creating. There’s a deck full of activities to do to get you out of your comfort zone (e.g. bake cookies for your neighbor, throw out something in your room each day for 7 days, create a 60 second short film of you doing something, etc.) which I think is awesome. But they also have a Wordsmith deck, which is designed to get you writing when you feel blockage.

Not that I experience much blockage when it comes to writing in this blog, but I thought it would be a cute change of pace to include the occasional prompt in order to a) put this deck I purchased to good use, and b) take a break from the self-help lecturing I’ve grown so accustomed to, and get personal.

Wordsmith prompt #1: Write about the place you call home.

I despise the saying, “home is where the heart is,” but I must say home has never been a physical location for me. It has typically been wherever the most organized collection of my loved ones is.

Growing up as an only child for most of my childhood, making friends became a necessity. Not only have I always cherished the process of developing a friendship, but once solidified, I consider that person a brother or a sister. Hence, growing up, home to me was where all my brothers and sisters mostly were. This is what leads to a foggy life I think: when someone stays in the same area but all their friends move away. Is that place still home?

My mother though will forever be the centerpiece. She could move to Siberia and somewhere in my mind I’ll think, “damn, I kind of live in Siberia.” Anything good about me is because of my mother’s teachings or love, so it only makes sense that wherever she goes, a piece of me goes with her.

On a final, unrelated note: It’s insane to me how the majority of my dreams of me at home are my childhood home. There must be something cemented into our youthful, developing minds…something ingrained in our long-term memories. I never think about that house (which I spent my elementary school years), yet when I have dreams about home, I see each room clear as day.

Tell me about the place you call home.

Check out BestSelf’s array of productivity tools to get you taking action, writing clearly, and trying new things!

Do Something Alone

This week (today, if you can), do something on your own. Leave your phone. Do something where you are not distracted and are forced to soak in the present. It’s just you and your thoughts. No phone. Go on a trip. Go to an event. Go to dinner. Go for a long walk. Don’t bring your phone. Go somewhere you’ve been wanting to go. Be alone without being alone.

And no phone…

Left Breathless

One of the most memorable and best uses of my time was the two hours I spent walking through the Holocaust Museum yesterday. This short post is dedicated to the time and dedication it took to collect all the art, photos, artifacts, stories, and data from one of the worst human rights tragedies, which were all collected and displayed in such a horrifying and beautiful way.

Before you begin the exhibit, you take an I.D. card of a Jewish man or woman who lived through the Holocaust. Each card provides information of where they were from and you get their perspective of the beginning, middle, and end of the Nazis’ expansion and destruction. You take the card to be reminded that although we speak of this atrocity in terms of unbelievably large numbers and statistics, each one of those numbers was an individual.

If you are in the DMV area, and have never been, please take an afternoon to spend an hour or two walking through this extraordinarily important place. It is free, and it will leave a mark on you. It left me with a feeling of stillness. Not a calming stillness, but a stillness which left me breathless and unbalanced, physically and mentally.

Some People

It’s a truly unfortunate fact, but once understood could save us a ton of time and mental strain…

Some people suck.

I currently make my income by serving tables and last night I had a purely low-class couple. By “low-class,” I’m not referring to their clothing or their skin color, I’m referring to the way they treated me and how my service was compensated. Not once did they say please or thank you. Each and every time I went back to the table, they needed something else. All I was thinking was “just get them out as soon as you can.” My expectations were low, but the final blow still hurt. Their bill was $90. I hand him the check and he slips me cash….5 bucks.

There is absolutely nothing more frustrating in the service industry than working your ass off for little to no payoff. I looked down at the depressed look on Abraham Lincoln’s face, said “I feel ya buddy,” but before I went into a pissed-off state of mind, I reminded myself something that put my heart at ease…

Some people suck.