Naturally, people enjoy talking to someone who asks questions and expresses curiosity. We all want to feel heard and feel important.
Whether it’s conscious or unconscious, people notice pretty quickly when a person only talks about themselves. The first thing I detect in someone is how often they ask (genuinely curious) questions. If they never do, I almost always find them less interesting.
But there’s a limit.
If we only ask questions in a conversation, it can feel like an interrogation real fast. That tends to make people uncomfortable or feel guilty that they talked about themselves the whole time.
So what if the person we’re talking to isn’t a skilled conversationalist? If they’re not giving us much to work with…
We can use the “2 for 1” rule.
Two questions. One personal story or idea. Repeat.
This ensures a back and forth. It lets the other person know, Hey, I’m a human being too. I’ve been through stuff. I can relate.
Try it out with your coworkers or with strangers. Let me know how it goes.