Last week, I took my friend to her first jiujitsu class. She’s athletic and open-minded so I thought I’d show her the misery I put myself through on weeknights.
While she enjoyed it, she said it was…a lot.
I remember when I first started in 2020. For about three months, I reluctantly went to class only to flail around and have someone control my every move. It was demoralizing.
But slowly, I began to defend myself. I got submitted less and less. Eventually, I even beat a few teammates.
The learning curve was steep. Going from total noob to slightly less of a noob was quite a journey.
So while learning a move in class last week, I looked over at my friend choking her partner. Her eyes were as wide as they could stretch. Most people aren’t used to bending and suffocating other people for fun. It can be overwhelming.
She took it easy and only sparred with a few people. They took it slow with her and talked her through everything. I’m lucky to be at a super welcoming and friendly gym.
Afterward, she wasn’t entirely sure if it was something she’d want to commit to. I completely understood. It’s hard to market.
“Hey, would you like to try something really really uncomfortable and grueling, that will take you a pretty long time to get even remotely good at, while you roll around in a puddle of other people’s sweat night after night?”
Whatever she chooses to do, I was quite proud of my friend for giving it a go. It made me realize that we really only have two choices when learning, pursuing, or attempting something new.
Option 1: “One day…”
Option 2: Day 1.
Getting in shape. Learning an instrument or foreign language. Starting a business. We can either start these things or wait.
Starting is exhilarating, ungraceful, and often discouraging. When we begin to climb the mountain, we see how tall it actually is. We can also imagine the downsides pretty easily. It’ll be scary. We could fail. We might look stupid.
But waiting can be an unfulfilling trap. When we create all these conditions that have to be met before diving into something, years can go by and we realize we’re standing in the same (or in a worse) spot. These downsides are usually more long-term and therefore are harder to anticipate until a ton of time has gone by. It’s tough to imagine the regret you’ll feel ten years from now.
An example of this difference is building an exercise habit.
The cons of going to the gym are simple. You don’t know how to use certain equipment. You’re out of shape. You’re not sure which exercises to do. It’ll be unfamiliar and tricky before any results are had.
But the cons of not exercising regularly are cloudier and easier to ignore. It’s hard to motivate ourselves with the possibility of being deeply disappointed by our bodies years down the line. But that’s exactly what happens to many of us. We look at ourselves and wished we started working out a while ago.
That’s because we’re so afraid of Day 1. But it all starts there.
What are you avoiding? What’s Day 1 look like for you?