Since attempting suicide in 2017, I’ve been obsessed with living a better life. I’ve even made a career out of helping people improve theirs.
But for those of you who have it too good, are too fulfilled, and are looking to downgrade…here are 10 easy tricks to help you start living a shittier life today.
1. Talk shit about people when they’re not around.
By saying things about others you would never say to their face, it makes you more resentful and cowardly. Also, when you gossip and badmouth around friends, they’ll subconsciously wonder if you do the same to them when they’re not around.
People get drained by toxicity. This is a great way to decrease people’s energy when they’re with you.
2. Laugh at exercise.
67% of Americans are overweight. That’s totally fine. The number should be higher.
Exercise has a plethora of benefits: increased confidence and energy levels, mental clarity, heightened motivation and willpower, increased general attractiveness, lower risk of disease later in life, and more strength overall.
So it should be avoided at all costs. Try viewing it as this uncomfortable, sweaty activity only meant for athletes. Be confused as to why anyone would put themselves through physical strain. Making fun of it will make you feel better for not doing it. Tell people you love your body by doing nothing to protect or improve it.
This is a great way to feel worse physically and mentally throughout your day.
3. When in conversation, focus on being right.
99% of people know something you don’t. But they must never know that.
Act as though you are enlightened and have all the answers. This will make conversations with you boring and non-collaborative. Be the teacher, never the student. Don’t ask questions. Constantly preach your knowledge to others, especially when they don’t ask for it.
When someone disagrees with you, the goal should not be to understand where they’re coming from and find common ground. The goal is to explain why they’re wrong and you’re right. Shame them into believing this if you have to. That will guarantee they never will and it will disconnect you both entirely.
This is a great way to keep people from feeling safe to explore their thoughts around you.
4. Drink more coffee, soda, and booze than you do water.
75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated. Again, those are rookie numbers.
Consuming a lot of caffeine and sugar can increase anxiety and stress levels. Downing alcohol frequently weakens the immune system and lowers sleep quality. This is all a perfect cocktail (pun intended) for a shittier life.
Drinking water protects organs and tissues, carries nutrients to cells, and flushes bacteria from your bladder. Sounds awful.
Skip a cold glass of water and reach for coffee first thing in the morning. This is a great way to start the day in a manic state.
5. Avoid doing the things you think would be cool to do.
We all have things we’ve been talking or thinking about but have taken zero action on. Learning Spanish. Dance classes. Starting a business, blog, or podcast. Painting. Piano. Pickleball.
The more we avoid actually doing any of these things, the more regret we’ll feel when we’re older. The pain of longing is guaranteed to feel shitty.
There will always be 1001 reasons why it’s inconvenient to start something. Let those excuses keep you from having more fun, improving your skills, and being more fulfilled.
This is a great way to wake up at 60 and question why you didn’t actually pursue your dreams.
6. Start and end your day by looking at your phone.
If you’re looking to add compulsion and anxiety to your life, this is one of the simplest ways.
Rather than giving your mind space to wake up or wind down, feed it with notifications, news, and chaos. Reading, stretching, or meditating would make the rest of your day more peaceful and present.
Fuck that. Keep your brain spinning every waking hour.
This is a great way to never feel done and to be addicted to a screen.
7. Give in to most of your cravings.
We all indulge. But try to avoid moderation. Make indulgence a lifestyle. Give in to temptations several times a week.
Junk food. Porn. Entertainment. Booze.
Doing this over and over again will supplant this story that you’re addicted to your cravings. When really it’s just a habit you currently have that can be broken or replaced. But don’t let your mind know that.
Treat yourself to whatever meal you want. Skip exercises or difficult things. You’ve earned it. Your body doesn’t care that you’ve earned it but hey…you’ve earned it.
This is a great way to be less fit and powerless against your compulsions.
8. When talking to others, talk more about yourself than about them.
Being interested in others is the best way to make them interested in you. They’ll feel seen and heard. People will enjoy your company more. They’ll feel connected to you.
Steer clear of that. Avoid asking curious questions. Definitely don’t ask follow-up questions to prove you’ve been listening. Try to stick to your stories and your opinions. Keep it one-sided.
This is a great way to weaken rapport and have worse conversations.
9. Take responsibility for the emotions of other people.
There are 7.98 billion people on the planet. If you do or say anything that could offend, frighten, or rub someone the wrong way…you should be arrested.
You’ll never agree with anyone 100% of the time. So it’s best to walk on eggshells and muzzle yourself to avoid any confrontation or misalignment. Don’t be yourself. Definitely don’t ask for what you want. If there’s even a slight chance of someone else being uncomfortable, stay silent.
It’d be easy enough to apologize or have a conversation if you ever do hurt anyone. But it’s best to avoid it entirely.
This is a great way to remain a shell of yourself.
10. Stay soft.
View discomfort as the worst-case scenario. Challenging moments will strengthen you. They’ll sharpen your communication and problem-solving skills. Avoid that.
You should be triggered easily. We all care about things. But you should get unhinged whenever you see or hear something you don’t like or agree with.
Shun people who have differing opinions from you. Judge them. Question their morality and humanity. Try to shame others into believing what you believe. It’ll never work. But you’ll feel superior and enlightened.
This is a great way to stay mentally weak and to keep your head in the sand.
Hope that helps! Let me know if these 10 tips help you decrease your quality of life.